“I know that guy, where is he from?” “What other TV shows has she been in?” “Was he in that movie we watched last year with that girl from Charmed and that guy who was in From Justin to Kelly? I think he’s an obnoxiously three-named celebrity like Brian Austin Green or Neil Patrick Harris or something.”
You’ve done it, I’ve done it, we’ve all done it. Watching a television show or movie and all of a sudden the anxiety and confusion builds. You just cannot place the character you’re watching. You can’t remember if “they were from that other movie,” or “the name of that other movie they were in,” or if ”that was them on that episode of Friends before they got really famous.” Stowed away, it’s deep in your subconscious and unable to surface like a blocked childhood memory.
Racking your brain trying to figure out if Kristen Stewart was the one who played Jody Foster’s pre-pubescent diabetic daughter in Panic Room…
if Debra Messing was the one who played a racist in that episode of Seinfeld…
or trying to differentiate between Zooey Deschanel, Emily Blunt, and Katy Perry…
We constantly seek an immediate solution to what can only be compared to the mysteries of the universe, like how a Keurig coffee maker works.
Sure our handy remote comes in, and you can click on the upper right corner that says “Guide,” which tells us a little bit about our plot, and our character names in parantheticals, but it’s just not enough. Our Guide is our brick wall, our limited information giver, a step into: gasp: – a minimalist lifestyle.
So we do what we must to fix our problem. We either fire up that laptop or type in Google on our i-Phone’s so we can finally lay the pressing issue to rest: “mike myers austin powers dr evil same person?”
BUT in the hopes of being a bit more efficient/lazy when it comes to our television time, we need something easier, quicker, and more immediate to rid us of the anxiety that goes along with “thinking.”
Delayed gratification? I think not. No more are the days I wait for Google to load in 2.5 seconds. I want the answer and I WANT IT NOW. Which is why we need not only a short paragraph summarizing the plot when we click “Guide,” we need a whole IMDB to go with it. The whole shebang. I’m talking an interactive, photo slideshow, timeline of EVERY single movie, television show, AND commercial our stars have been in. And for every movie listed, the option of viewing some of their most notable roles is presented right then and there.
Because when you’re done watching your episode of Bones and aren’t satisfied with your fill of David Boreanaz and the amount of his pomade, you have the option to simply tune in to some of his other serious Oscar worthy performances. I know it may prove difficult to choose between such hits as “The Crow: Wicked Prayer (2005)” or “Macabre Pair of Shorts (1996),” but at least you will never have to wonder again if “he was the guy in that movie.”
Then, and only then, ladies and gentlemen, can we utilize our couch potato laziness to its full potential.
Related articles
- Let Us Create A Law and Order Channel for Television Mankind (crampmystyle.wordpress.com)
Great post! You have no idea how much it pains me to not figure out how I know a person on TV — don’t get me wrong, I’m good at it. I rock it. I could qualify for the Olympics if the Olympics had a “name that obscure actor” or “name that TV/movie when the famous person appeared as an obscure actor” competition. But when I can’t figure it out, it will eat at me all day long. Thank goodness for modern technology.
PS Katy/Zooey/Emily — yes!!! And I still confuse the names Meryl Streep and Glen Close — but not the actresses themselves. Just their names. I have no idea why.
OMG Angie, I’m so guilty of that too! I’m worse though, because I do confuse the actresses. I’m guilty of categorizing either Glen or Meryl as “the actress from Bridges of Madison County that also played Cruella DeVille in 101 Dalmatians,” naturally.
yeah like pop up video or those little factoids they give when watching a movie….who doesn’t love that?